I want to know which one of these 2 is my soul mate .

Hello , I was born in 9th July 1981.
So far Im talking to 2 men , one born on Jul 31st 1965(I married this man for over 10 years but we had fights a lots because he uses lots of bad languages calling me badly when he gets angry enough that I don’t know if I should either divorce or keep marriage still-I love him still but never feel happy with him)
,the other born on 21st Jul 1963(opposite character-very gentle,He found me first. I decided to talk to him because I somehow was familiar with his face and his smile even before I met -feeling as if I met him before somewhere but could not remember of where. I felt so secured and happy when being around him.Even though we got along very well, he never said or expressed his feelings for me to me .It is scary that it might be a one way love.
I want to know which one is my soul which one is not so I can focus on only one man.
I love them both but tend to like the second with who born in 1963
Could you please guide me what kind of man this man is based on his birthday Jul 21st,1963? I want to know if he will come back to me or just let him go if he does not say what he thinks about our relationship?

Thank you so much in advanced for your kind advise,
Piyarat from Thailand