i was born October 27 1975 at 10:45 AM widowed for more than 9 years

Marizza,
Your Ascendant was 9°07' in Capricorn, and you had your afflicted natal Moon and natal Saturn in your 7th House of Marriage. It has been opposed for years, or since 2008, by the transiting Pluto from your 1st House. Pluto made you conduct yourself in such a way that you couldn’t get married. It was destined for you to marry a man older than you, as Saturn in your 7th House demands this. And your 7th House of Marriage was also negatively aspcted by transiting Uranus. As Uranus still squares your 7th House, it will bring to you more trouble for at least 3 years, by presenting you with wrong choices of boyfriends. You had natal Jupiter on the bottom of the sky, therefore you will be lucky at home and will have a wonderful retirement. Note this: one can’t have everything in life. Good luck to you.