i am the OX & she is the SHEEP

Dang dude that's rough!
I saw you just posted this today so may as well give this a shot, looks like you could use a hand!
It sounds like you've loved this woman for a long time, and maybe there could be better chances at easing your mind if you look into your astrology signs as well. Not only is your Zodiac sign important, but also the month and day you were born make you one of the 12 signs in astrology - read up on your compatibility with hers, learn to balance out your strengths and weaknesses with hers. Try to open up to her saying that you might sound crazy, but you want to understand her personality more, after all these years, there could be conflicts (as a noun in this case, not so much your weaknesses), that are only manageable when they are brought to the surface (makes things less personal). Because really, as humans, we are not upset at others, we are upset at our differences. Recognizing this is the first step and will open up a new clear ground and open air for communication. More spiritual attraction and emotionally there for one another. Keep in mind also though, that there may be much going on in one another's lives that does not meet up, and also how busy and hectic today's day and age can be. Maybe all you two need is a spiritual and peaceful renewal, take a trip or take up an activity together. Open yourself up and learn to love yourselves before you can fully love one another. If it doesn't feel right to cut the ties with her, then i think she's definitely worth your best shot. There's really no harm in it, cause you could learn a lot about yourself along the way too :)
Hope this helped!
Peace & Love man!
From Sarah - Rooster, Capricorn, Master number 33