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Asked by CONSTANCE | Jul. 21, 2014 09:47

About:Chinese Etiquette

New Chinese daughter-in-law

We have a new Chinese daughter in law and want to know if there is a customary gift we could/should send her to assure her that we are very happy she is now in our family? She is a jewelry/metalsmith major so jewelry is not a good choice!! She was in the US for 7 years in college but she and our son are now back in Beijing with her family. The ceremony is not planned yet so we don't know how long it will be before we go there. We know nothing about Chinese customs, so this website will be helpful!!

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Answers (1)

Answered by Lee | Jul. 22, 2014 01:13

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Constance, boy's parents usually give their future daughter-in-law a certain amount of money when she pays her first visit to the boy's home. If two families agree that the boy and the girl can get married, then they will choose an auspicious day to hold the engagement ceremony. The boy's family then prepares the bride price, jewels (engagement rings, ear rings and necklace), brand-new clothes etc. The girl's family usually buys new clothes for the boy. In my hometown, the boy's family usually hold the wedding ceremony. When the engagement day comes, the girl's parents and relatives come to visit the boy's family. Of course, they have a feast together. The girl's parents take the bride price and then choose an auspicious date for wedding. The boy also gives the engagement ring, ear rings and necklace to the girl. Usually, the boy and the girl propose a toast to every guest including the boy and the girl's relatives. In return, the guests usually give red envelopes to them.

The above are customs we observe. Your situation is a bit different beause you are not Chinese. I think you need to talk with the girl's family on the engagement and wedding issues.

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