Question

Asked by Esther Huhn from belgium | Mar. 26, 2014 15:31

About:Chinese Etiquette

Meeting the parents of my son's fiancee

My son is getting married to a Chinese woman in Shanghai soon. I shall be traveling there (from Europe) and meeting her parents and her younger brother. I intend to learn some basic Chinese expressions to exchange courtesies, and shall invite them to afternoon tea at a hotel in Shanghai, which would be the accepted way of arranging a first meeting in my country. Is there anything else I should do or definitely not do? For instance, in my culture it would be terribly gauche to discuss money right from the start

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Answers (4)

Answered by Helen | Apr. 02, 2014 04:53

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Don't be nervous. The only thing you should pay attention is to avoid asking how old she is (unless she tells you willingly). And I think it would be nice if you could bring her a small gift. She will be very happy.

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Answered by Esther Huhn | Apr. 02, 2014 11:07

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Thank you for that, Helen. By 'her', I presume you mean the bride's mother? No, I had no intention of asking her age, or of being asked about mine (!) And I had been thinking of buying her a gift, maybe a nice perfume. Are there any do's and don'ts regarding the bride's father, and would he be expecting a gift?

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Answered by Helen | Apr. 06, 2014 03:32

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Yes, I meant the bride's mother. A perfume is a good gift for her. The bride's father won't expect a gift. But he will be surprised and feel happy if you bring one for him. You needn't worry about this meeting too much. I think you should find some topics for your conversation. It's embarrassing if both sides become silent and don't know what to say. I think they are happy to tell you something about their daughter's childhood, study etc. Or course, you can tell something about your son. It's good for both sides to know more about their daughter and son.

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Answered by Esther Huhn | Apr. 06, 2014 06:58

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thanks a lot, Helen, that's very helpful :-)

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