Question

Asked by Kaye from australia | May. 27, 2013 21:33

About:Chinese Table Manners

Is it usual for chinese to get more from the serving dish with the chopsticks they are eating with?

My Chinese daughter-in-law does this, and we do find it confronting and off putting. She does not wait for others to be served, not even the 3 and 6 year old children, she just eats greedily and quickly and leaves even if others are still eating. She demands to be fed when we are all out as a family, and will order for herself only and will not wait to even walk in with us. She will eat what she has ordered, as well as share in the banquet that we have ordered for everyone, using her chopsticks to help herself. She greets the children readily, but does not wish to speak to her husband's adult family members unless she has to. Is it just me, or is she rude regardless of nationality?

Reply

Answers (6)

Answered by Echo | May. 28, 2013 21:34

5 4 Reply

I don't think so. Most Chinese ladies are in good table manners. They are polite and behave well. I have a Chinese female friend. She is totally different from your daughter-in-law as you describe.

She may be just not familiar with you all or has not adjusted to the current life style. You can tell that her behaviors are not that decent. She will listen to you and behave well later.

5 4 Reply

Answered by Kaye | May. 29, 2013 17:55

3 2 Reply

Thank you for your reassurance. My daughter in law has been in Australia for just over two years, and they have been married for one year. When any family member tries to help by explaining gently, she becomes very resentful and sullen. My son does not help at all, as he then goes to great lengths to appease her, waiting on her hand and foot, speaking softly and walking with her ahead of everyone. We try and be mindful of cultural differences, but feel great resentment and dislike from her. She does not want to be part of the family, has stated that she does not like any of us, and has told my son that he must take her home when she says. I will continue to smile and be happy for them, and hope that one day she will allow us to truly welcome her to our family.

3 2 Reply

Answered by sakura | Jun. 23, 2013 13:21

5 1 Reply

i'm a chinese girl,ang i can speak little english ,in our country,people regard manners very important.i don't think she can represent all of us....by the way,wclcome all friends to visit china state

5 1 Reply

Answered by Mel | Aug. 30, 2013 14:05

2 2 Reply

She sounds extremely rude. I have had many international students stay in my home, and have experienced the Chinese to be self-centered and competitive. No understanding of "do unto others". It's about getting for yourself whatever you can. I hope your son wakes up before they have children.

2 2 Reply

Answered by zhenru | Oct. 13, 2013 16:51

0 3 Reply

Traditionally, Chinese culture requires great manners while eating. It can be very strict. But nowadays, there are a lot of young kids with ill manners due to lack of education or instruction from the family. Your daughter in law probably is just a rude individual. This is not cultural differences. That said, the way she behaves is not well represented for chinese culture as well as chinese people.

0 3 Reply

Answered by C. | Mar. 10, 2014 17:31

2 1 Reply

I know it seems petty, but I just cannot sit and read something as rude and poorly reasoned as Mel's post without saying anything. You make a sweeping generalization about Chinese people that at its core xenophobic. Not ALL Chinese people are like that, even if the ones you've had stay with you are (which I find hard to believe). None of the Chinese people I have had at my house have been anything like what you described. They have been generous and very kind.

2 1 Reply

See more answers...

Related Questions: