Question

Asked by Phyllis from united kingdom | Dec. 29, 2013 04:12

About:Visiting Chinese Family

Why has my son's Chinese partner suddenly become discourteous?

Since the birth of their baby son 6 months ago, my son's Chinese partner has become very rude and discourteous, even to the extent of bringing Chinese noodles & dumplings with her to eat on Christmas day as our food is not a "proper" Chinese meal (our Christmas dinner didn't contain noodles). She has not spoken more than a few words to me for the past 3 days which makes my son very uncomfortable. She has lived in England for almost 10 yrs and has visited before, with no apparent problems. Can you please advise me what is going on here? Is there some social observance that I have missed?

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Answers (2)

Answered by Julie | Jan. 13, 2014 00:55

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Oh, sorry for this. There is no so-called social observance. Maybe your daughter-in-law is that a person who is friendly to her mother-in-law. My suggestion is that as their parent, you should be more patient with her. Talk to her actively and be considerate to her. As time passes by, she will be awear of your kindness and friendliness. Then she may treat you as her own mother. Also I have to say not all Chinese girls are like her. Don't misunderstand!

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Answered by Apricot | Mar. 31, 2014 15:32

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I have read of a few cases like this from different places in Europe. I may be starting a relationship with a Chinese girl, and it worries me to read this. I have started to think there may be psychological cost for integrating well in European culture that Chinese women take without showing it, because not showing their burden is the ideal they carry with them. Until the cost is too high, the hidden burden too large, which the altered family situation of the first baby may cause. Suddenly they regret integrating and want to make a point of rudely reverting to their home culture. I think I will talk about this with my Chinese girl. Would not want it happen to her.

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