Question

Asked by Barbara from usa | Nov. 25, 2012 12:22

About:Chinese Etiquette

Am I missing some cultural signals?

We are hosting a 16 year old Chinese boy and we feel that he is not making an effort to "fit in" at schoole or at home. We cannot get him to come out of his room- he plays some sort of video game for hours on end- speaking Chinese with whomever else is on line. He hangs around with another Chinese student at school -speaking only Chinese with him. He claims that Americans are unfriendly and that they will not speak with him. We have tried to explaing to him that he is excluding them and being rude as well. His table manners are poor- he slurps everything and eats with his mouth almost at his plate and sometimes will put his mouth on the plate to get the last few bits. We have told him that this is considered to be poor manners here and that kids may tease him about this. All of our prodding and suggestions seems to fall on deaf ears and I am sure that there are some cultural signals that we are missing. Any suggestions?

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Answers (4)

Answered by Jane | Nov. 25, 2012 19:19

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Barbara, I think it is not your problem and not the problem on the culture difference. In my opinion, you do very well. You help him to get accustomed to your culture and supervise him. There is something wrong with his habits.
I used to host a Chinese girl and I think she is good. She studied very hard and did a good job on her work. She helped me to do some house work when she was free and also she help me to know a lot of Chinese culture. With these knowledge, I can host other Chinese students. She is really very kind.
I think if you cannot bear it, you may ask to change another tenant.

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Answered by Fred | Dec. 23, 2012 20:41

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I am also hosting an obese 16 year old Chinese boy and his manners are atrocious. He puts his mouth on the plate when eating and makes the most disgusting noises. I have spoken to him about this and he's improved. His room is also a pig stye with clothes, tissues, empty food containers and soft drink bottles on the floor in his bedroom. He spends all his time in the lounge room playing on his computer. He also downloaded 7.95gb in 1 day. In Australia this is illegal and he knew about this from written rules and from me reminding him. I will persevere a little longer and if he doesn't improve I will ask him to leave.

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Answered by Jamason | Jan. 26, 2013 22:47

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It's illegal to download 7.95GB a day? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Are you kidding me...I really, really hope I read this wrong.

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Answered by Laurie | Feb. 16, 2013 15:33

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Welcome to the world of the homestay parent. Chinese raise their plates close to their mouths when eating, slurping is an acceptable thing in their society. As for the untidy rooms yes they do that and you will need to perservere and encourage them to be tidy, it takes patience.
I know they tend to hang together and speak Chinese and yes they are her to learn English.
And they do live on their computers and play games just like Australian kids do. I had two students for five years and another one student for various times. It was one of the most rewarding times of my life. You get from them ( in most cases what you give).
Be patient. You were young once, just didn't have computers and video games!!
Zaijian

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